2002 - Second Birth
It had been quite a year. Ben's adoption of T.J. was finalized in February. On our 18 month anniversary, Ben and I had a wedding -to celebrate not just our marriage, but our official statis as a family. A week after that we'd had a quick visit with family and flew off to live in the U.K. I was expecting in the autumn, too!
Just by living there, we learned so much about birth that isn't in the 'norm' in the U.S. In the U.K., pregnancy care is usually handled by a combination of doctor and midwife. A woman may see the doctor once at the beginning and then the midwife the rest of the way or go back and forth. The doctor is generally reserved for 'high risk' patients. If they weigh you, they go by stones (so I had no idea what I weighed). A homebirth is a perfectly acceptable option for a typical pregnancy. They don't check you 'down there' unless there's a serious medical reason.. Even when I was in the hospital with signs of early labor at 29 weeks, they didn't check.. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.
I had been seeing an OB in the States before moving. When we arrived in the U.K., we lived temporarily in London in the company flat and had to look for a new home. I didn't see a reason to run off and get a new OB when I'd be moving so quick. When we finally settled in to our new home, the local OB was on the 'high street' (main street) in the town. We didn't have a car, but by cab it was one mile to the train station, which is on the street just past the high street.
I really enjoyed living there. The people were friendly and I enjoyed the walk to town. T.J. made several friends and started going to school there.
Around 29 weeks, I slid down the stairs in our home (we lived on the second floor, the stairs were just inside our door). I was careful to try to keep from bouncing on the way down and rested over the weekend. I realize that I wasn't drinking much water, too, and that combination gave me problems. Come Monday morning, I started bleeding. The neighbor agreed to pick T.J. up from school and I went to the hospital by train. Ben was out at a meeting and wouldn't be reachable until around 5PM.
At the hospital, they hooked an I.V. into my wrist. The nurse was so funny. They'd changed brands and on the last ones, you hook the thing into the vein and then attach it. This one was supposed to be attached and then inserted into the vein.. My blood started spewing on the floor and she was apologizing left and right! She got it hooked up right finally and cleaned the mess. They put me on antibiotics because the number one cause of early labor is infection. I had to basically stay in bed until the bleeding and contractions stopped.
Ben received my message and, after stopping by to make sure T.J. was alright, came straight to the hospital. He arrived in time for the ultrasound scan. In that area, they have a blanket policy that they won't tell the gender of the baby -apparently because there's a high percentage of immigrants from areas that prize one gender over another, so it's supposed to be for the baby's protection. It was so funny, though, because we're both watching to see if they go by 'that area' and I thought I saw girl and he thought he saw boy.. Walking down to the scan had given me more contractions, so I was kept on bedrest. But, all looked well on the scan!
I stayed in the hospital's labor ward till Thursday. Each morning the doctor would ask whether I'd had bleeding or tightenings and I had to have gone 24 hours without before they would release me. On Wednesday night, my milk came in! I sat in the media room with icepacks on, chatting with the longterm lady. She stayed down the hall and had to be there until she gave birth and she'd been there a month or so already and wasn't due for another five weeks. The gal across from me was from South Africa, and she was fun to chat with. Her baby came Tuesday night or Wednesday morning.
It's a strange feeling to go from living in the hospital with the only care being to keep the pregnancy to riding in a car with a little person who only needs you to care for him. I could only stare at T.J. for the longest time -could one forget how to parent in just 4 days?
I kept mainly on bedrest and worked up to light housework. When school started, I would walk him in, and walk to pick him up, but that was about it. School was only about 4 blocks away.
I'd never had a problem with my first pregnancy of wanting it to be over. I was patient, my mother normally carried for ten months and I expected as much. I'd been pleasantly surprised to go a few days before my due date. This time, though, I'd already been in labor once during the pregnancy and I got antsy at the end! I picked up some Red Raspberry Leaf Tea and had several cups a few days before my due date. I think that was on Friday, then on Saturday I had niggling contractions all day. I had one cup of the tea that day and another on Sunday.
Around 9:30PM Sunday night, we lay down in bed. I felt/heard a *pop* and I sprang back up and ran to the bathroom. My water had broken. I ran a bath and sat in there to let the contractions ease in. I would walk to the toilet and then go back to the tub. When I started being sick, I went in to wake up Ben. He muttered something in his sleep and I ran to the toilet.. I don't know how much time passed, but I started to be more restricted to the toilet. I called out, "BEN!" and he appeared so quick, groggy and naked, staring at me.
We'd made arrangements with our downstairs neighbor to watch T.J. whilst we were in the hospital. So, Ben went knocking to let her know I was in labor. He came and called the ambulance service and we waited. Anne came up and made herself at home in the kitchen. The first ambulance arrived, but there was only one medic. He informed us that he had been closest, so he came to check on me and do any treatment while we waited for another ambulance. He came in and started writing his readings on his glove and asked me what I needed. "Drugs!" I said. He had 'gas and air' in his ambulance and brought that up. It only took maybe two 'hits' on the stuff during the next contractions and the nausea subsided. After that I was able to deal with the contractions without illness or further medication.
The second ambulance came and they asked me to move.. I slowly went from the restroom across the living room (I think I slumped on the floor by the chair, then sat in the chair by the table and had to be convinced to head to the stairs). The contractions were strong and I paused with one on each step. It took so long to get down! I heard Anne say, "I don't think she's going to make it." Then a medic asked me, "How are you doing?" My response was, "Fine, but the baby's crowning," because I felt so open and like the head was right there.
I had just made it to the bottom. I could see the ambulance. He told me that he didn't think I would make it to the ambulance at this rate and we should go back upstairs. "I'm comfortable here," I moaned. He said it would be too cold there for the baby. I headed upstairs, made it halfway before the next contraction! Then I made it to the top and had another. I got back to the chair in the livingroom and leaned on the table for the next one.
Suddenly, I had to empty my bowels. I ran to the toilet! I passed what was in there and felt the baby begin to emerge. I heard Ben in the other room, "Where's Jenn?" I called to him and he came into the restroom. I whispered, "The baby's coming," and hushed him because I was trying to finish on the toilet. He tried to reason with me that the medic would know sooner or later. The medic came in and helped Ben get me back to the living room. They had laid out some towels and the green quilt Mom had made me. Pillows were stacked up and they told me to get in position. I got down on hands and knees and leaned my head and chest against the pillows.
My body was pushing out the baby. I pushed once along with the contractions and the head came out. I waited as they checked for cord and heard the medic say, "Look at that." I knew it wasn't the cord and that I'd have to push. Ready for a long pushing phase, I worked with the next contraction and she slid right out! The medic's concern was that her hand had been on her shoulder, but as it turns out she has slender shoulders.
A.J. was born at 1:23AM in our home, measuring 7 pounds 14 ounces and 22.5 inches. Ben and I held our new baby. Someone took pictures. The midwife arrived 17 minutes after the birth and clamped the cord.
After she nursed, Ben took her and they slept soundly till morning while I called family in the States. "Your neice/granddaughter was born tomorrow." T.J. slept the night peacefully and woke to a new sister.
Just by living there, we learned so much about birth that isn't in the 'norm' in the U.S. In the U.K., pregnancy care is usually handled by a combination of doctor and midwife. A woman may see the doctor once at the beginning and then the midwife the rest of the way or go back and forth. The doctor is generally reserved for 'high risk' patients. If they weigh you, they go by stones (so I had no idea what I weighed). A homebirth is a perfectly acceptable option for a typical pregnancy. They don't check you 'down there' unless there's a serious medical reason.. Even when I was in the hospital with signs of early labor at 29 weeks, they didn't check.. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.
I had been seeing an OB in the States before moving. When we arrived in the U.K., we lived temporarily in London in the company flat and had to look for a new home. I didn't see a reason to run off and get a new OB when I'd be moving so quick. When we finally settled in to our new home, the local OB was on the 'high street' (main street) in the town. We didn't have a car, but by cab it was one mile to the train station, which is on the street just past the high street.
I really enjoyed living there. The people were friendly and I enjoyed the walk to town. T.J. made several friends and started going to school there.
Around 29 weeks, I slid down the stairs in our home (we lived on the second floor, the stairs were just inside our door). I was careful to try to keep from bouncing on the way down and rested over the weekend. I realize that I wasn't drinking much water, too, and that combination gave me problems. Come Monday morning, I started bleeding. The neighbor agreed to pick T.J. up from school and I went to the hospital by train. Ben was out at a meeting and wouldn't be reachable until around 5PM.
At the hospital, they hooked an I.V. into my wrist. The nurse was so funny. They'd changed brands and on the last ones, you hook the thing into the vein and then attach it. This one was supposed to be attached and then inserted into the vein.. My blood started spewing on the floor and she was apologizing left and right! She got it hooked up right finally and cleaned the mess. They put me on antibiotics because the number one cause of early labor is infection. I had to basically stay in bed until the bleeding and contractions stopped.
Ben received my message and, after stopping by to make sure T.J. was alright, came straight to the hospital. He arrived in time for the ultrasound scan. In that area, they have a blanket policy that they won't tell the gender of the baby -apparently because there's a high percentage of immigrants from areas that prize one gender over another, so it's supposed to be for the baby's protection. It was so funny, though, because we're both watching to see if they go by 'that area' and I thought I saw girl and he thought he saw boy.. Walking down to the scan had given me more contractions, so I was kept on bedrest. But, all looked well on the scan!
I stayed in the hospital's labor ward till Thursday. Each morning the doctor would ask whether I'd had bleeding or tightenings and I had to have gone 24 hours without before they would release me. On Wednesday night, my milk came in! I sat in the media room with icepacks on, chatting with the longterm lady. She stayed down the hall and had to be there until she gave birth and she'd been there a month or so already and wasn't due for another five weeks. The gal across from me was from South Africa, and she was fun to chat with. Her baby came Tuesday night or Wednesday morning.
It's a strange feeling to go from living in the hospital with the only care being to keep the pregnancy to riding in a car with a little person who only needs you to care for him. I could only stare at T.J. for the longest time -could one forget how to parent in just 4 days?
I kept mainly on bedrest and worked up to light housework. When school started, I would walk him in, and walk to pick him up, but that was about it. School was only about 4 blocks away.
I'd never had a problem with my first pregnancy of wanting it to be over. I was patient, my mother normally carried for ten months and I expected as much. I'd been pleasantly surprised to go a few days before my due date. This time, though, I'd already been in labor once during the pregnancy and I got antsy at the end! I picked up some Red Raspberry Leaf Tea and had several cups a few days before my due date. I think that was on Friday, then on Saturday I had niggling contractions all day. I had one cup of the tea that day and another on Sunday.
Around 9:30PM Sunday night, we lay down in bed. I felt/heard a *pop* and I sprang back up and ran to the bathroom. My water had broken. I ran a bath and sat in there to let the contractions ease in. I would walk to the toilet and then go back to the tub. When I started being sick, I went in to wake up Ben. He muttered something in his sleep and I ran to the toilet.. I don't know how much time passed, but I started to be more restricted to the toilet. I called out, "BEN!" and he appeared so quick, groggy and naked, staring at me.
We'd made arrangements with our downstairs neighbor to watch T.J. whilst we were in the hospital. So, Ben went knocking to let her know I was in labor. He came and called the ambulance service and we waited. Anne came up and made herself at home in the kitchen. The first ambulance arrived, but there was only one medic. He informed us that he had been closest, so he came to check on me and do any treatment while we waited for another ambulance. He came in and started writing his readings on his glove and asked me what I needed. "Drugs!" I said. He had 'gas and air' in his ambulance and brought that up. It only took maybe two 'hits' on the stuff during the next contractions and the nausea subsided. After that I was able to deal with the contractions without illness or further medication.
The second ambulance came and they asked me to move.. I slowly went from the restroom across the living room (I think I slumped on the floor by the chair, then sat in the chair by the table and had to be convinced to head to the stairs). The contractions were strong and I paused with one on each step. It took so long to get down! I heard Anne say, "I don't think she's going to make it." Then a medic asked me, "How are you doing?" My response was, "Fine, but the baby's crowning," because I felt so open and like the head was right there.
I had just made it to the bottom. I could see the ambulance. He told me that he didn't think I would make it to the ambulance at this rate and we should go back upstairs. "I'm comfortable here," I moaned. He said it would be too cold there for the baby. I headed upstairs, made it halfway before the next contraction! Then I made it to the top and had another. I got back to the chair in the livingroom and leaned on the table for the next one.
Suddenly, I had to empty my bowels. I ran to the toilet! I passed what was in there and felt the baby begin to emerge. I heard Ben in the other room, "Where's Jenn?" I called to him and he came into the restroom. I whispered, "The baby's coming," and hushed him because I was trying to finish on the toilet. He tried to reason with me that the medic would know sooner or later. The medic came in and helped Ben get me back to the living room. They had laid out some towels and the green quilt Mom had made me. Pillows were stacked up and they told me to get in position. I got down on hands and knees and leaned my head and chest against the pillows.
My body was pushing out the baby. I pushed once along with the contractions and the head came out. I waited as they checked for cord and heard the medic say, "Look at that." I knew it wasn't the cord and that I'd have to push. Ready for a long pushing phase, I worked with the next contraction and she slid right out! The medic's concern was that her hand had been on her shoulder, but as it turns out she has slender shoulders.
A.J. was born at 1:23AM in our home, measuring 7 pounds 14 ounces and 22.5 inches. Ben and I held our new baby. Someone took pictures. The midwife arrived 17 minutes after the birth and clamped the cord.
After she nursed, Ben took her and they slept soundly till morning while I called family in the States. "Your neice/granddaughter was born tomorrow." T.J. slept the night peacefully and woke to a new sister.
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